respect.

what do i have to do to gain respect? i have given everything that i could have possibly given, say everything i could possibly say and do everything that i can to earn nothing. i cant take it anymore. i am a woman who is independent on herself and chose to have something in her life that i thought was going to be marvelous.

is it really that marvelous? is it worth the pain and struggle? i dont want people to think i have failed. do i care about what other people think more than myself?

maybe i am just over reacting? maybe i should just suck it up. God puts struggles in our life to make us stronger people. Maybe he is just testing me in my faith to see if i am able to over come it. Well, i am. i know I can over come this and show just how strong of a woman i am.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.  1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

attitude.

do you ever just feel like you wanna scream and pull your hair out because of stubborn people? maybe i feel that way too much, or maybe its just me overreacting to the situation.  maybe my attitude is the one that's out of control.  should i show my attitude or just keep it bottled up- even though that isn't healthy.  maybe i should just let everything be brushed off like its nothing. do i take everything to heart and shouldn't? all i want to do is the best thing for me.

[Acts 8:22 "Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you."]
sometimes i just wake up in bad moods and take them out on people that don't deserve to deal with it.  i cant help it sometimes.  there are things that irritate me and i can not stand it.  maybe i should just brush that off too, heck idk. its super hard to just let things go past me and me not say anything. 

God help me become a stronger person to where attitudes don't bother me.  i know that some should grab my attention, and i could help fix the problem... but these careless attitudes that approach me- i wish i could just not pay them any attention at all and let them roll off me.

What I need to do:
1. Identify and Repent of bad attitudes
2. Submit your attitudes to God

• A good attitude is a matter of faith, disregarding your feelings, with a determination to embrace God’s outlook and disposition.

3. Equip and feed your attitudes

• do NOT dwell on negative things, your attitude will reflect.

"Our attitude should be patience, humility, confident in God’s justice."

mistaken.

“When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren't grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
-Cynthia Ozick



I love to do nice thing for people.  Especially the ones I care about and love the most.  I love to see people smile and get that glimmering look in their eyes.  I feel like I'm on top of the world because I get to see other people light up.

The thing that upsets me the most is when people take someone for granted.  Were not just talking about taking me for granted, but people in general.  There are so many people that go out of their way, everyday just to help someone out.  Whether is money, food, clothes, or just plain putting a smile on their face.  These people dont ask for anything in return, except maybe a 'thank you.'  It just really sucks to go out of your way to make someone happy, but they take you for granted.  They use you until they no longer need you.  It's like, they'll just keep wanting more and more of what you have until its all gone.  But once its all gone, so are they. 

All I ask, is to appreciate who is in your life.  Whether its your parents, your family, your spouse- boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, and even acquaintances because you never know what could happen.  Dont ever take someone you love for granted because you could wake up tomorrow and they could be gone.

satan.

im selfish to think this, but i thought that after i was saved and baptized, that my life would get a whole lot easier.  boy, am i wrong.  satan is pressing harder and harder against me, waiting for me to break. if i break then everything in my life will fall apart. i know how strong i am and how strong i can be so i cant let him do it.  in 1 Peter 5:8 it says,

• 
  
  "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

The DEVIL wants you to fail and not break free.  the DEVIL hates you. he wants to see you fall and break. he wants to see you crumble to the ground.  he is going to do what he has to do to trip you up and get you off the path of righteousness. you have to be STRONG enough not to let him. you have to believe in yourself and believe that God will keep you out of harms way. 

• 
  
  "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Temptation is going to follow you around like a lost puppy.  You're going to see it everywhere so you have to be careful what you choose to do and not to do.  You have to be strong enough not to slip up and let temptation get the best of you.

You have to have a plan. You absolutely have to, or satan is going to rake you over the coals. he wants to see you break and bleed. you can not let him get the best of you because then he know's that he has won.  You have to trust in the Lord. All you have to do is tell him that you need him and he will be there for you. He will help you. Just turn to him and tell him. If you trust in the Lord, he will make your path straight. He will help you fight off satan and become a better person, a better warrior.

• 
  
  "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

God is here. He is with you. All you have to do, is ask.

life update :)

well. as you can see from facebook or just me in person i have turned a complete 180 into the person that i know i should be and who i want to be.

over these past couple weeks my life has changed in so many ways.  there have been so many people who have came into my life to teach me something different. i am so thankful for them.

philip causey, who is now my heart- left for California on Tuesday to be a servant of God.  i miss him so much already, but he needs to listen to God when he speaks to him. Philip has introduced me to so many people who i consider friends of mine. they are pretty amazing people and i pretty much see them all everyday.

on Monday i was baptized by Shannon Childers.  he is my pastor at AXIS CHURCH. He's pretty amazing himself and has already helped me out in so many ways.

since I am now a member of AXIS, our second Sunday, as a church, is coming up. I feel at home when I am at AXIS.  This church is absolutely amazing as well as the people who started this and that are involved in it.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

my life isn't perfect, but its pretty amazing right now. i know that God has some pretty amazing plans for me that lie ahead and i cant wait to see what they are! i know that He will protect me where ever i go.

btw. philip causey. youre my hero. be safe over in Cali. xo.

everytime i look at you, i can fly

finally, i think my life is finally going in the right direction.

i am proud to say that i have:

1. officially quit smoking
2. put Jesus first in my life
3. doing well in school
4. dating an amazing man

thank you Jesus, in all that you do. you are amazing and

i will continue to worship and praise you.

how can i possibly ever be in a bad mood?

especially when all i do is smile 24-7

10 things I want to accomplish in my life.

1. be saved & completely give my life to God.

2. graduate as a Nurse.

3. travel through Africa, then around the world.

4. get married on the coast of somewhere beautiful.

5. adopt a child.

6. help children fight AIDS.

7. help at least one person understand what God's

word means. (that is, after I understand it.)

8. become a wonderful monther.

9. marry my best friend.

10. die happy.