temperament.

definition:

–noun

1. the combination of mental, physical, and emotional traits of aperson; natural predisposition

.

2. unusual personal attitude or nature as manifested bypeculiarities of feeling, temper, action, etc., often with a disinclination to submit to conventional rules or restraints.

When I woke up this morning, I prayed to God that I tried my best today not to get an attitude or temper with anyone; especially because I had to work today.  Needless to say, my night at work went absolutely terrible  When I thought matters couldnt get worse, they did.... and it kept on happening.  I was cursing and making a fool of myself.  I completely lost my train of thought and the Devil got a hold of me.  Even when I was driving home, I was still angry.  I thought, "OF COURSE everything would go wrong on my last night at work." Considering I'm off all weekend-

When I got home, a friend of mine had finished the artwork he was working on for me.  He uploaded it to facebook and as soon as I saw it, all my anger, attitude and hatefulness just disappeared.  I could not believe the work he did for me.  I felt so ashamed for acting so rudely, not only toward my patients, but towards God.  God has always looked out for me, and I acted like a pure fool today.  All I can do is ask for forgiveness.  I wanted to try to go throughout my day today and just be a joyful person, and could not do it.  i let people get to me so easily its ridiculous.  

Trey's artwork really opened my eyes.  I have never seen something so beautiful in my life, and I am so thankful he was my "reality check" tonight.  God is my Savior, and I am forever grateful that he guides me onto the right path and does not lead me astray.

isn't it beautiful?

Top Five Temptations Single People Face When Considering A Relationship

the wise words from Perry Noble, Senior Pastor at NewSpring Church in South Carolina.

#1 – Compromise! Hands down this is the first temptation…and I would argue that it is the girl that deals with this way more than the guy.  She begins wanting “Mr. Right” but will settle for “Mr. Right Now” if she perceives that all of her friends are getting married and she is not.  God has NEVER called His followers to compromise…EVER!!!  (And…ladies…if you are constantly having the defend the guy you are dating, then you know you are compromising.)

AND…ladies…if he is not pursuing you in a godly manner (which means he is not constantly trying to stick his hands down your pants) then drop him!

#2 – Believing That Marriage Will Solve The Struggles You Are Facing While Dating! Marriage is a magnifier…and if it is a small deal when you are dating then I promise it will be a BIG HONKIN’ deal when you tie the know!

#3 – Going Too Fast! Anyone can fool anyone for a short period of time!  You need to date someone “until the new wears off!”  If two people are in a hurry to get married then it is usually because they are trying to hide something from the other person…or because they just want to have sex!

#4 – Trying To Be The Person That The Person They Are Dating Wants Them To Be Rather Than Who They Are – If you are having to lie about who you are to date someone…then you need to break up today!  Ladies…DO NOT SAY you love football and want to go to games with him if you don’t know the difference between the offense and the defense.  Dudes, DO NOT SAY you absolutely LOVE chic flics and want to watch them for hours if doing so drives you crazy!  If you are doing things you HATE to do…but have refused to be honest and tell the other person the truth…then you are being dishonest with them.

#5 – Seeking Advice And/OR Affirmation From The Wrong People! Single people…please, if you want marriage/dating advice…then go to people who are actually married and have been so for a long time!  Why in the world would you ask a single person for marriage advice?  Why would you ask someone who has literally blown through relationship after relationship how to have a relationship?  Because they read a book?  Because they know some Bible verses?  REALLY?  If you want to know how to have a successful relationship…ask those who have one.

hey guys.

i just wanted to let you guys know that i am still alive! haha.
school & work have taken control of my life.
i will post more later!
have an amazing weekend.

everything happens for a reason.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and time to refrain, 

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecc. 3:1-8

It took me a while to figure out why some of the things that happen in my life, happen.  Why does God put me through something, I have been through time and time again?  I have really struggled with that question over the past couple years. I still, to some extent do not know why God puts me through things I really don't think I can handle.
There are certain reasons why people come into our life.  But I think that we don't realize what reasons  those are.  We misinterpret what reasons why they come into our life and put them in positions that we think will work and wont.  For an example. I have known Philip for 5 years.  We have kept in contact, at random occasions and then finally a couple months ago we decided to see each other again.  We were friends, just hanging out and having a good time.  He brought me to know God and helped me with my relationship towards God.  He has been my personal savior, besides the Lord of course.  Philip and I had decided to take it a step further and date.  I really thought for a while that he was "the one." I'm not sure if thats because I thought I was so ready to want a relationship and want to be married and happy that I put him into that position whether he was the right one or not. After flying out to California and being with him for a week, after not seeing each other for about a month, it was definitely an eye opener. After long thought and contemplation about being with Philip, we had decided to just be friends.  I really thought for a while i'd be upset about it... but i know that God brought Philip into my life for a different reason other than being my boyfriend.  Philip is an amazing person, probably one of the most amazing people I know.  I thank God everyday for bringing Philip into my life.  God does things in our lives that at first we just don't understand, but we have to trust him that he does the right thing for us. Philip might have not been "the one" for me, but he came into my life for a reason and I'm not going to let him disappear out of it.  If you ever doubt God because of the things he puts you through in life, then you need to build your relationship with him. You have to trust Him on the things he is doing because everything does happen for a reason, sometimes you just have to be patient enough to see it. So trust God in everything He does, because He does have the answer, you just have to put faith in Him.

prayer.

over the past couple weeks, i have learned not just to pray for myself and things that only regard my life. there are other people in this world that need prayer more than myself. i have put together a small list of what i have chosen to pray for tonight. things that clearly stick out in my mind. i know that i could seriously put more down, and i will if i think of them. i hope that God hears my prayers and speaks to me in many ways, that will not only answer my prayers, but shows me the ways i need to walk, in this life of mine. I hope he shows me the passions he has chosen for me. 




prayer list:

• YWAM Pismo Beach & Central Coast.
• my personal life with my boyfriend.
• struggling families.
• God & our government.
• relationships towards others.
• positive influences on people that I come in contact with.
• helping Christians teach the Word of God and show non believers to the path of righteousness.
• judges and the decisions they have to make.
• the Holy Spirit in my friends and family.
• people who are "disliked" by the culture around us.
• showing respect towards everyone.
• the sick.
• the servants on mission trips.
• favor.
• peace.
• my faith.
• building new relationships.
• God placing a passion in my heart as well as hearts around me.
• growing knowledge of God & the Bible.
• obedience.
• what is my plan in Gods eyes.

-if you would like to add more, then add a comment and i will keep your thoughts & prayers in mind so that i will pray for you as well. God please grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.  You are an amazing Father, Teacher, Leader and so many other things God. Thank you for everything you have done in my life Lord. Teach me to be a stronger Christian and to accept the things I can not change, for you have put those struggles into my life for a reason. Please help me gain knowledge in those things so I can understand who you are molding me into the servant you want me to be Lord.

respect.

what do i have to do to gain respect? i have given everything that i could have possibly given, say everything i could possibly say and do everything that i can to earn nothing. i cant take it anymore. i am a woman who is independent on herself and chose to have something in her life that i thought was going to be marvelous.

is it really that marvelous? is it worth the pain and struggle? i dont want people to think i have failed. do i care about what other people think more than myself?

maybe i am just over reacting? maybe i should just suck it up. God puts struggles in our life to make us stronger people. Maybe he is just testing me in my faith to see if i am able to over come it. Well, i am. i know I can over come this and show just how strong of a woman i am.

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.  1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

attitude.

do you ever just feel like you wanna scream and pull your hair out because of stubborn people? maybe i feel that way too much, or maybe its just me overreacting to the situation.  maybe my attitude is the one that's out of control.  should i show my attitude or just keep it bottled up- even though that isn't healthy.  maybe i should just let everything be brushed off like its nothing. do i take everything to heart and shouldn't? all i want to do is the best thing for me.

[Acts 8:22 "Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you."]
sometimes i just wake up in bad moods and take them out on people that don't deserve to deal with it.  i cant help it sometimes.  there are things that irritate me and i can not stand it.  maybe i should just brush that off too, heck idk. its super hard to just let things go past me and me not say anything. 

God help me become a stronger person to where attitudes don't bother me.  i know that some should grab my attention, and i could help fix the problem... but these careless attitudes that approach me- i wish i could just not pay them any attention at all and let them roll off me.

What I need to do:
1. Identify and Repent of bad attitudes
2. Submit your attitudes to God

• A good attitude is a matter of faith, disregarding your feelings, with a determination to embrace God’s outlook and disposition.

3. Equip and feed your attitudes

• do NOT dwell on negative things, your attitude will reflect.

"Our attitude should be patience, humility, confident in God’s justice."

mistaken.

“When something does not insist on being noticed, when we aren't grabbed by the collar or struck on the skull by a presence or an event, we take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.”
-Cynthia Ozick



I love to do nice thing for people.  Especially the ones I care about and love the most.  I love to see people smile and get that glimmering look in their eyes.  I feel like I'm on top of the world because I get to see other people light up.

The thing that upsets me the most is when people take someone for granted.  Were not just talking about taking me for granted, but people in general.  There are so many people that go out of their way, everyday just to help someone out.  Whether is money, food, clothes, or just plain putting a smile on their face.  These people dont ask for anything in return, except maybe a 'thank you.'  It just really sucks to go out of your way to make someone happy, but they take you for granted.  They use you until they no longer need you.  It's like, they'll just keep wanting more and more of what you have until its all gone.  But once its all gone, so are they. 

All I ask, is to appreciate who is in your life.  Whether its your parents, your family, your spouse- boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, and even acquaintances because you never know what could happen.  Dont ever take someone you love for granted because you could wake up tomorrow and they could be gone.

satan.

im selfish to think this, but i thought that after i was saved and baptized, that my life would get a whole lot easier.  boy, am i wrong.  satan is pressing harder and harder against me, waiting for me to break. if i break then everything in my life will fall apart. i know how strong i am and how strong i can be so i cant let him do it.  in 1 Peter 5:8 it says,

• 
  
  "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

The DEVIL wants you to fail and not break free.  the DEVIL hates you. he wants to see you fall and break. he wants to see you crumble to the ground.  he is going to do what he has to do to trip you up and get you off the path of righteousness. you have to be STRONG enough not to let him. you have to believe in yourself and believe that God will keep you out of harms way. 

• 
  
  "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Temptation is going to follow you around like a lost puppy.  You're going to see it everywhere so you have to be careful what you choose to do and not to do.  You have to be strong enough not to slip up and let temptation get the best of you.

You have to have a plan. You absolutely have to, or satan is going to rake you over the coals. he wants to see you break and bleed. you can not let him get the best of you because then he know's that he has won.  You have to trust in the Lord. All you have to do is tell him that you need him and he will be there for you. He will help you. Just turn to him and tell him. If you trust in the Lord, he will make your path straight. He will help you fight off satan and become a better person, a better warrior.

• 
  
  "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

God is here. He is with you. All you have to do, is ask.

life update :)

well. as you can see from facebook or just me in person i have turned a complete 180 into the person that i know i should be and who i want to be.

over these past couple weeks my life has changed in so many ways.  there have been so many people who have came into my life to teach me something different. i am so thankful for them.

philip causey, who is now my heart- left for California on Tuesday to be a servant of God.  i miss him so much already, but he needs to listen to God when he speaks to him. Philip has introduced me to so many people who i consider friends of mine. they are pretty amazing people and i pretty much see them all everyday.

on Monday i was baptized by Shannon Childers.  he is my pastor at AXIS CHURCH. He's pretty amazing himself and has already helped me out in so many ways.

since I am now a member of AXIS, our second Sunday, as a church, is coming up. I feel at home when I am at AXIS.  This church is absolutely amazing as well as the people who started this and that are involved in it.

GOD IS SO GOOD!

my life isn't perfect, but its pretty amazing right now. i know that God has some pretty amazing plans for me that lie ahead and i cant wait to see what they are! i know that He will protect me where ever i go.

btw. philip causey. youre my hero. be safe over in Cali. xo.

everytime i look at you, i can fly

finally, i think my life is finally going in the right direction.

i am proud to say that i have:

1. officially quit smoking
2. put Jesus first in my life
3. doing well in school
4. dating an amazing man

thank you Jesus, in all that you do. you are amazing and

i will continue to worship and praise you.

how can i possibly ever be in a bad mood?

especially when all i do is smile 24-7

10 things I want to accomplish in my life.

1. be saved & completely give my life to God.

2. graduate as a Nurse.

3. travel through Africa, then around the world.

4. get married on the coast of somewhere beautiful.

5. adopt a child.

6. help children fight AIDS.

7. help at least one person understand what God's

word means. (that is, after I understand it.)

8. become a wonderful monther.

9. marry my best friend.

10. die happy.

stay with me, lets just breathe.

i have never just sat around, outside, listening to music all day with someone until today. and i swear to you, i could do it everyday. today was just awesome and i dont think i could have spent it with anyone else.

"This is the fate of those who trust in themselves." -Psalm 49:13

Does every single thing in your life happen for a reason? Everyone that walks into your life, did God put them there for a reason, or to learn a lesson from... or is it just several people? Im not sure what to think of this, but then again my mind races when I think about things like this. Is it fate? or my destiny? Am I doing the right things in my life? I am so scared that I could possibly be doing the wrong things but I want to be right.  People are right.. I worry too much about everything. I always think of the most negative outcome but I cant help it.  If I think like that and then something better happens, i'll never be disappointed.  I think that is why I push people away... because if I dont let them get too close, I wont get hurt.  But what happens when I find someone I WANT to get close to? What happens then?

For once, I just want to be someone. I want someone to want me in their life because they need me for a reason. Not because Im someone to just fall back on.

opening my heart.

today, i went and saw an old friend.. who i havent seen in months but before that it had been several years.  i dont remember how we met, but back then he was a totally different person.  from what he showed me he had that "i dont give a damn" attitude, which there is nothing wrong with.  but today, as we were conversating and watching a video.. the words that came out of his mouth were magnificent.  i never saw God take affect on someone like he has taken affect on Philip. it was so amazing.  personally, my relationship with God is almost non-existent.  i felt ashamed being in the presence of this man who was so engulfed by Gods word.  after i left his house this afternoon i thought to myself what i should do to become closer to God.  there is no doubt i'll need help but i know that he will direct me towards the right people to talk to.  i am still in awe about how my friend, who i have known for several years, had done a complete 180. he amazes me, by the way he talks about his mission trips and how he's moving to Cali to be apart of the YWAM in pismo beach.  God has planned his life out and it is so amazing.  today he became somewhat of a role model for me, and i hope one day he reads this and knows, that i look up to him, as a friend and as a guide.
-so, thank you Philip Causey

you probably didnt know:

1. i love sunshine
i believe it makes everyones day a little brighter.

  

2. thunderstorms

they really do help me sleep

3. pickled foods.

call me redneck, southern but its amazing

  

4. blue is forever my favorite color

even though my room is black and white

  

5. rocking chairs

it reminds me of when i was little

  

6. i would rather be on the beach than anywhere else

sunset beach, north carolina has my heart.

7. i am left handed.

but i bat and golf right handed.

   

8. one day, i would like to have a family of my own
....one day.

my motto:

"...be the change you wish to see in the world."

at ease.

"In the journey of life, just find someone as normal as you are."

its a quarter after one, im all alone and i need you now.

it was my mistake I know. but I just had to let you know I miss you. you're my best friend.

sunset beach

I need a vacation, immediately.

STEVE JOBS

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

you are my sunshine.

lately, my life as been taking uncontrollable turns, that is for the best.  i am starting to figure out what i want out of my life.  i was in several predicaments in the past that i was not able to get away from. several wrong choices, but i have learned from my mistakes. The only bad thing is, I lost my best friend the night I told her that one day I wanted to get married to a man. I know that I will never find someone to talk to like I could with her, ever again. But no matter what, I do not regret any decisions I have made throughout my life. I made them for a reason. One day, my life will become exactly how I expected.