stay with me, lets just breathe.

i have never just sat around, outside, listening to music all day with someone until today. and i swear to you, i could do it everyday. today was just awesome and i dont think i could have spent it with anyone else.

"This is the fate of those who trust in themselves." -Psalm 49:13

Does every single thing in your life happen for a reason? Everyone that walks into your life, did God put them there for a reason, or to learn a lesson from... or is it just several people? Im not sure what to think of this, but then again my mind races when I think about things like this. Is it fate? or my destiny? Am I doing the right things in my life? I am so scared that I could possibly be doing the wrong things but I want to be right.  People are right.. I worry too much about everything. I always think of the most negative outcome but I cant help it.  If I think like that and then something better happens, i'll never be disappointed.  I think that is why I push people away... because if I dont let them get too close, I wont get hurt.  But what happens when I find someone I WANT to get close to? What happens then?

For once, I just want to be someone. I want someone to want me in their life because they need me for a reason. Not because Im someone to just fall back on.

opening my heart.

today, i went and saw an old friend.. who i havent seen in months but before that it had been several years.  i dont remember how we met, but back then he was a totally different person.  from what he showed me he had that "i dont give a damn" attitude, which there is nothing wrong with.  but today, as we were conversating and watching a video.. the words that came out of his mouth were magnificent.  i never saw God take affect on someone like he has taken affect on Philip. it was so amazing.  personally, my relationship with God is almost non-existent.  i felt ashamed being in the presence of this man who was so engulfed by Gods word.  after i left his house this afternoon i thought to myself what i should do to become closer to God.  there is no doubt i'll need help but i know that he will direct me towards the right people to talk to.  i am still in awe about how my friend, who i have known for several years, had done a complete 180. he amazes me, by the way he talks about his mission trips and how he's moving to Cali to be apart of the YWAM in pismo beach.  God has planned his life out and it is so amazing.  today he became somewhat of a role model for me, and i hope one day he reads this and knows, that i look up to him, as a friend and as a guide.
-so, thank you Philip Causey

you probably didnt know:

1. i love sunshine
i believe it makes everyones day a little brighter.

  

2. thunderstorms

they really do help me sleep

3. pickled foods.

call me redneck, southern but its amazing

  

4. blue is forever my favorite color

even though my room is black and white

  

5. rocking chairs

it reminds me of when i was little

  

6. i would rather be on the beach than anywhere else

sunset beach, north carolina has my heart.

7. i am left handed.

but i bat and golf right handed.

   

8. one day, i would like to have a family of my own
....one day.

my motto:

"...be the change you wish to see in the world."

at ease.

"In the journey of life, just find someone as normal as you are."

its a quarter after one, im all alone and i need you now.

it was my mistake I know. but I just had to let you know I miss you. you're my best friend.

sunset beach

I need a vacation, immediately.